theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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