glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
