I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
