i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize