why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
