So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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