I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize