I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
