then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
