She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You made out with two different species that night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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