I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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