he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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