Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
