Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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