I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
