accomplished twins. life is a go
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
