does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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