i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My penis needs a shock collar
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
