omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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