i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
