I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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