Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
