So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
