UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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