I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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