I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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