the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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