I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
