Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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