My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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