There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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