Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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