I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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