dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
