Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
