I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So much rum. So many feels.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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