there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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