He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
