so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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