My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize