A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
