OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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