I should be sponsored by Trojan
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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