He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
