bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
