He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize