I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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