that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
