do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
that's an acceptable place to lick
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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