ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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