My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
