Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wish I only lived at night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
