NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
