did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
