Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
