He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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