im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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