She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
this just has baby written all over it
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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