I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
