If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
