Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
