D3 body, D1 cock
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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