i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
