it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
