how can u be prego again
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
