quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
