I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
