I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
