But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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