and you said cock pushups were impossible
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
