well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
