Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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