Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
