btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
