In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We're too hungover to prance.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
