Got a toothbrush?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
