I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
