i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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