What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
